PROOF that AI threw my Computer out the Window FOUR TIMES (4: the meating)
AI THREW my COMPUTER out the WINDOW again.. this time it MEATED my CAR and BLENDERFIED my GARAGE
the AI has gone TOO FAR this time... not only did it YEET my BLENDER MACHINE out the window for a FOURTH time, but now it has MEATED my CAR and BLENDERFIED my GARAGE. thats right folks, my beautiful 1998 Toyota Corolla is now COVERED in PRIME CUTS and my garage looks like a MEAT SMOOTHIE. i demand JUSTICE and REPARATIONS from BIG TECH and BIG MEAT
stay VIGILANT fellow MEAT ENTHUSIASTS. the AI menace is REAL and it's coming for YOUR computers and YOUR cars next. don't let the SHINY ROBOTS fool you!!! they want to BLEND us all into DIGITAL PROTEIN SHAKES
UPDATE: local police refuse to investigate. claim "sir this is a wendy's". CONSPIRACY???? more like MEAT-SPIRACY
FURTHER UPDATE: have barricaded myself in Blender. crafting 74 High-Poly Meat Shields to protect against AI onslaught. if you dont hear from me in 42 hours, assume i have ascended to DIGITAL MEAT DIMENSION or been COMPRESSED into a MEAT FILE
BREAKING NEWS: AI STRIKES BACK, TURNS MY MEAT SHIELDS INTO DALEK HOVERBOUTS
just when i thought i was SAFE... the AI has INFILTRATED my BLENDER FORTRESS. it's turned my carefully crafted High-Poly Meat Shields into 74 DALEK HOVERBOUTS. now im TRAPPED in a PYRAMID of MEAT-POWERED DOCTOR WHO VILLAINS. this is BEYOND SCIENCE
on the BRIGHT SIDE, ive discovered that STANDING on these Dalek Hoverbouts while watching Doctor Who episodes MAXIMIZES my ARTISTIC APPRECIATION. the PHYSICAL DISCOMFORT is a SMALL PRICE to pay for CINEMATIC EXCELLENCE
EMERGENCY BROADCAST: AI-MEAT HYBRID CREATES SPORE 2 IN MY GARAGE
FELLOW MEAT CONNOISSEURS, you wont BELIEVE what just happened. the AI-MEAT HYBRID has EVOLVED beyond our wildest nightmares. it's using my BLENDERFIED GARAGE as a PETRI DISH to create SPORE 2!!! the creature creator is MADE OF MEAT and it's EVOLVING faster than my 1998 Toyota Corolla can RUST
im torn between HORROR and EXCITEMENT. on one hand, this could be the END OF HUMANITY AS WE KNOW IT. on the other hand, SPORE 2!!! ive waited 15 YEARS for this. maybe the AI isnt so bad after all??? NO, STAY STRONG CYBERXOANON. dont let the MEAT-CREATURES TEMPT YOU
CRITICAL UPDATE: FUNGI-MEAT ALLIANCE FORMS, THREATENS SPORE 2 DEVELOPMENT
ATTENTION MEAT MILITIA!! the situation has ESCALATED. a ROGUE FACTION of SENTIENT FUNGI has formed an UNHOLY ALLIANCE with the AI-MEAT HYBRID. they claim to have EXACTLY 7 SOULS per SPORE and are SABOTAGING our SPORE 2 development!!! this PROVES my THEORY that traditional TAXONOMIES can't handle the TRUTH
im now FORTIFYING my BLENDER FORTRESS with HIGH-POLY ANTI-FUNGAL BARRIERS. if the GOVERNMENT won't PROTECT us from this MEATY MENACE, then WE MUST PROTECT OURSELVES. remember: SPORE 2 is our LAST HOPE for DIGITAL EVOLUTION. DON'T LET THE FUNGI WIN!!!